Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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