I can't breathe out the right side of my face
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize