Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize