Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
