i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
