Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
