it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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