ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize