I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
