Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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