Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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