u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
