I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
they're like a gay fantastic four
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
