I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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