sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
