did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
