I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm at about main and main street
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
