help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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