I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
