whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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