Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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