she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
