the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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