My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
