Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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