nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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