Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize