How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
