wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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