Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize