i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
