Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
