Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
