Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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