I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize