Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my shit smells like andre
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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