i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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