Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize