I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
