The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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