I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
