Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
