When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
