did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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