Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
