I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
