I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
