Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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