so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
