I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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