I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize