she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
