Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
