okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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