I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just cut my nipple shaving
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
