nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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