At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
