:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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